Dream Catcher

When I was visiting Erik and Stephanie Christensen in Arizona last year my husband and I went to the Grand Canyon. At a tower inside the park was a gift shop and I looked around for what to buy my three nieces. Dream catchers with bright colors caught my eye and I picked my nieces favorite colors. One of my nieces struggles with nightmares and was thrilled with the myth that the dream catcher would catch and keep her bad dreams. Even as adults we struggle with the issue of our dreams. As children we imagine a future that we want for ourselves and do everything possible to obtain that image in our heads. The problem is we cannot foresee every variable that we will meet along the way. As a child I didn't know if I wanted to be married and have kids. I played along with my friends without telling them I wasn't that thrilled about either prospect. I wanted to write fiction and compose music but no one my age liked either one of those dreams. As I grew up God taught me that if He doesn't define the dream we will live life in disappointment and regret. As a teenager I thought it would be cool to go to the Air Force Academy and talked and planned it out with my dad. He was so excited but then I found out that I wouldn't be able to get in because of my asthma. I was disappointed but after time I developed a new dream, to go to college get my degree in psychology and go on to pursue my masters and PhD. It took quite a good bit of my twenties just to finish my bachelor's degree and along the way I realized my health was continuing to deteriorate. The year I was to graduate my now husband asked me to marry him and I was stunned, not because he asked but because it had never been my dream. I was afraid because I wasn't sure it would make me happy. What I discovered was that God was asking me for my dream again to give me another dream. I said yes believing God was calling me to be married to Todd. Not long after we were married I became so ill I had to quit work and give up any hope of getting my masters or PhD. I was again disappointed because I thought my dream and my value were linked. For a long time I didn't have a dream. My husband and I knew God didn't call us to be parents and we accepted that without regret. I was learning in those years to let God make my dreams. I studied scripture, learning Greek and Hebrew. I learned how to talk to God and listen to what He had to say. Then my dream came, the one I had always thought about but never thought of as being a goal. I wanted to teach but more than that I wanted to disciple. So when my health got even worse and I had to drop out of choir and praise team, I wasn't disappointed but understood God was asking for that ministry to give me His ministry for me. It wasn't long after that I started working with Rita Carr and then SALT and finally discipling and teaching the way God had envisioned for me. Although marriage wasn't my dream God had other plans. Even though the norm was to have children, God said no. My identity is not defined by the dreams I have for myself but the one He has set aside just for me. I could have been the bratty child stomping my foot that God took away from me my goals in life but instead I learned that what He asks for isn't as valuable as what He wants to give me in its place.