A Rock, A Hard place and Me

Have you ever been in an impossible situation where you had to choose between two friends or maybe between a friend and a family member? Have you ever had to choose between your spouse and your children or other family members? It is difficult to know how to resolve these disputes and even worse when we have to choose a side. Sometimes both parties are wrong and we have to refuse to side with either one. I'm doing a study of 1 John with two of my classes. John had to confront a growing movement within the church called Gnosticism, which threatened to undermine not only the gospel but the authority of the apostles and elders in Jerusalem. John had to take a stand but not only that, he had to inform the audience of 1 John that they couldn't ride the fence. They too had to choose a side. Were they for the gospel as it was originally taught to them or were they for the Gnostics? John's letters give us the evidence he presented to his audience for why the original gospel he taught them was the only gospel. When we are put in a position where two friends may be in a confrontation, we often want to do what the flesh suggests and that is pick the friend we are the closest to, and side with them. Sometimes the flesh will lie to us and make us fear losing the closest relationship if we don't take their side even if they are wrong. Jonathan, Saul's son became friends with David and defied his father when Saul went after David trying to kill him out of his jealousy. Jonathan was a godly young man and knew that David was innocent of any wrong doing. He chose David over his father because he knew his father was doing something that violated the law and was outright murder. That decision had to be difficult because Saul was his dad. I've never had to chose between a friend and a family member but I have had to choose between friends. I have been burned sometimes for choosing the wrong friend and ended up losing both relationships. When we are placed in the middle of a dispute we first need to go to God before we do anything. Unfortunately we get caught up in the drama and forget to stop and ask the Lord for direction. He will show you what to do next if anything. It is always wise to investigate the stories of each person first and then assess each one's character. If you have a friend who is consistently mature spiritually and isn't known for being dishonest, that friend has character on their side. If you have another friend who feeds off of drama and is usually immature both emotionally and spiritually there will be a question as to their motives and honesty. However we are not God and we cannot determine who is lying and who is telling the truth. Unfortunately both may have perceived the event or argument differently. If we ask for wisdom from God as James 3 instructs us to do there are characteristics we obtain when we request God's wisdom. James says that wisdom from above is peaceful. If there is a peaceful resolution God will let us know. Sometimes it is not what we expect and yet it is the best option. Many times however God places in situations where there is no easy outcome so that we prove we are His creation and not acting out of the flesh. The worst things we can do is avoid the two friends and act as if nothing is wrong, talk about them behind their backs, and meddle in their argument without being asked. God wants our dependency in everything because our personal relationships with people are where we will shine or fail in terms of displaying God's character. Agape is not always showing unconditional loyalty but providing what an individual needs. If they feed off of drama they do not need a friend to keep feeding the beast but one who says "that's enough". If you are in a situation where you are placed in the middle of a dispute between two friends, first go to God, investigate so you have all the facts (there are two sides to every story), be restrained from judgment until you are clear as to what the argument is about and what the facts are, and if possible find a resolution that reconciles both parties. If there is no resolution available then you must choose not according to loyalty or blood relationship but according to what is godly and what is right. God never promised us that the Christian life would be easy and often the hardest thing is what He requires from us. If we choose to trust Him and do the hard thing we learn that the hard thing isn't impossible with God.